On Best Friends.

I got home to Mesa on Thursday and am just here for a mini vacation. As I've been home, I've had a lot of time to reflect on life and the friendships I've had for two reasons: 1. The celebration of Morgan's upcoming wedding, 2. Missionary friends returning. Reflecting on these things has brought me to such a thankful spot in my life for so many reasons.

I'm quick to call someone my best friend, which doesn't lessen the term to me. I have a lot of friends whom I love and cherish and really do consider my best friend. I realized that there are people I will continually fall back on for support, like Morgan and Jessika. We've been best friends since we were two, and despite our different friend groups, we get together again and it's like we never left each other's sides. Naomi is another friend like that. She's married, and I'm in Provo, but we can talk to each other on the phone for hours, and whenever I'm in town, it's like high school all over again. The thing is, I don't just have girlfriends like that. Zac Velarde has been such a good friend to me since we met, and every time I'm in Mesa, you can find us together, loving life and living like there's no tomorrow.

The thing I've come to realize  is that these people, Zac, Morgan, Naomi, Jacob, Jessika, Adam, Joey, Maeser- people I really know and love abundantly- have always been there for me. We've seen good and bad times, and somehow, miraculously, we come out on top, and that's not always the case with friends. Friendships don't always survive fights and disagreements, but when they do, they last forever. I think that one of the reasons I consistently come back to these people is because I know them so well, I know their stories, I know their worries (in a small way), I know their families, and I love everything about them. How could I not consider them my best friends?

Sometimes it's hard for me to watch my life change so much, and see everyone growing up, getting married, and having kids, but as I look at the friends I've been surrounded with, I know that the ones that really mean the world to me, the ones I've been with forever, they will always be right next to me, no matter where life takes us. I may have a fickle heart, but deep down, with my best friends, I'll always be loyal to those who have shown me loyalty. I happen to be blessed with a good group of people who've done that for me.

A Semester Ago

A semester ago, I blogged about my favorite part of my study abroad in Paris. Now, I'm at the end of Winter Semester and I haven't blogged once. Luckily, best friends are the best motivators. That's why I keep Morgan around- to motivate me with comments like this:

So, here I am. Blogging. 

How do you recapture an entire semester in one blog post? 

You don't. 

Here are some highlights. 

1. I'm obsessed with my major. I know I say that a lot, but this semester has been the semester where I realized I want to actually just stay in the English department and take all the fun classes for the rest of my life. Although I actually don't want to be in school forever. Maybe just for a master's... maybe in creative writing? Yikes. That's an idea. 

2. I applied to Teach for America. And got a final interview. And will find out if I'm in the program on May 5th. So I will keep you up to date on that. 

3. Sophia and William got married. I am obsessed with them. They are my favorite couple and their wedding was so beautiful. I'm in love with them. 

4. Caleb and Paige got married (over Christmas break) and it was also lovely. And included Disneyland with the fam- which is always a bonus because I'm a bit obsessed with Disneyland, and I'm obsessed with my little cousin Molly who spent a lot of time with me in Disneyland. And maybe, just maybe I cried during Mickey's Magical Map. 

5. I literally have the best roommates ever. And we love each other. And partying. And it's magical. And Catherine lives in our apartment, essentially, and we are ok with that. 

Yes, Life is good. It's really good. 

I'll start blogging again. Promise. 

Love always, 

Ems

Favorite Part.

As I've been home from Paris, the question I constantly get is, of course, "So what was your favorite thing about Paris?"

Because a person can pick that.

As I've responded to all these people, I inevitably pick the same thing: church.
Yes, even in the most beautiful city on earth, my favorite thing was church.
Here's why.

We spent a lot of time at the church. Not only did we have the normal 3 hours every Sunday, but we always had religion there on Mondays, plus FHE, and most weeks, the 4 hours of normal class. We were constantly at the church, hanging out at the institute, taking advantage of the free wifi, and eating at the corner boulangerie. The institute quickly became our second home. We all felt comfortable there, we were friends with Elder and Sister Haward, we knew the missionaries who came in to email every monday afternoon, we knew where the comfiest seats were, where the best wifi was, and that the church would always have clean bathrooms with hot water to wash your hands in (both rarities in Paris). The church was safe, it was far from the hustle and bustle of Paris life and we could leave our purses anywhere without worrying about pick-pockets.

However, the actual congregation was also incredible to be around. Going to church every week, and being surrounded by the members of that congregation, who were doing their best to live the gospel in a place where most people think Mormons are Amish, was simply remarkable. I realized over those three months, that I can't even begin to comprehend how blessed I am, and how much I take for granted living in a place where the vast majority of my neighbors are members of the church. They proved to me that faith is so much more than just confessing that you believe, it's living like you believe each and every day. It's sharing the gospel with coworkers, people on the metro, and the people you meet in your apartment complex elevator. Faith is living each day as a representative of Christ, being aware that you are always being watched by those around you, and making sure that those who watch, can tell you believe. They showed me that no matter what your circumstances are in this life, you can love God with all you have, and then give him even more than you have.

I think the greatest thing I learned from the Paris 1st ward is that this gospel, is precious. The gospel changes people in ways that we cannot even begin to comprehend, and even if I've been a member my entire life, it's supposed to change my life, too. They taught me to truly put my faith in Christ, because through him, everything is possible. They taught me to never give up on a person, because everyone can change, it just has to be on God's timing. They taught me to love everyone: rich, poor, black, white, Harvard grad, or elementary school drop out. Above all, they taught me that this gospel means everything, and should never be taken for granted.

I hope that I can remember what I learned from those members.

Thank you, Paris 1st ward.

Love always,
Ems

Seeped in Memory.

As I prepare to leave Paris, I can't help but think of how seeped in memories this city has become. Everywhere I go in Paris, I have memories of the first time I visited it, or the time something funny happened, or a person I saw there who impacted my life. Everywhere I've walked, I've created memories. Every second of this study abroad has created memories. The city is drenched in memories.

I don't want to leave France, ever.  I cannot tell you how much I am going to miss this place. So much about it has become home now- even the ridiculously crowded RER train that always happens to be more packed than usual AND 20 minutes late when I must get to class. I'm going to miss the beautiful city, the way it shines in the rain, the way it sparkles at night. The river that's gushing with rain water right now. The storekeepers who always greet you with Bonjour and help you with anything you need. The boulangeries on every street corner. The adorable little children. The faithful members of the church. The cobblestone streets. The rushing of the metro. The calm of the Tuileries. The art of the Louvre, Orangerie, Orsay, Pompidou. 

There is just so much that I love and so much that I want to keep forever.

I want to stay. Or come back all the time. One of the two. Because America may be my home, but this feels like where I belong. I've found it, and it's Paris. Somehow I always knew it would be.

So as I say goodbye to my city tomorrow, I'll be holding back tears the entire time. Nothing will ever be able to replace this time in Paris, and no matter the new memories I create here, nothing will ever compare to the first memories I created here. 

As Earnest Hemingway said: 

There is never any ending to Paris and the memory of each person who has lived in it differs from that of any other. We always returned to it no matter who we were or how it was changed or with what difficulties, or ease, it could be reached. Paris was always worth it and you received return for whatever you brought to it. But this is how Paris was in the early days when we were very poor and very happy.

Love always,

Ems

Thoughts from the Metro

A world of loneliness
in a sea of people

That's how I feel about the metro. Every day, I ride the metro. Quite literally every day, I am on those trains. I find the metro to be such a paradoxical place, and every time I'm on it, I think about what a paradox it is. You see, the metro is busy, inherently. There are so many people in Paris, and all those people have places to be, and the metro is the fastest way to get there. The paradox is, the metro is the loneliest place I have encountered in Paris thus far.

I love sitting on the metro and watching people: people reading, people listening to music, people talking to friends, people on the phone, people oblivious to the world, people pondering life, people watching me watch people. We all sit there, consumed in our various activities, and try, as best we can, to be oblivious to everyone.

Why is it that we isolate ourselves like this?

I sometimes wonder if there are people looking to be not-so-lonely on the metro and conversely, those seeking solitude by slipping through those turnstiles. Is it possible that somebody's looking for a kind word or a smile among the sea of people? Looking to do a good deed by giving change to the saxophone man? Or is everyone only wanting to be anonymous?

It's amazing that in a city so bustling, you can feel so alone. Such a paradoxical world we live in, is it not?

Love always,
Ems

Writer's Block

I'm suffering from major writer's block.
Although, it's more of just writer's-lack-of-motivation.
Either way, I've been trying to formulate a post about Normandy
and failing
so instead, I'm just going to say
you may or may not find out about Normandy.

In case you don't...
here's a picture.

Ya, it was pretty beautiful. 

Here's to breaking free of writer's block! 

Love always,

Ems

Fun French Facts.

After being in Paris, here are some things I've noticed about the French- things that actually live up to or challenge the stereotypes.

True:
-they carry around banquettes
-they eat more cheese than you can even imagine
-they are very much into PDA
-they ACTUALLY wear berets (and scarves!)
-there is a distinct smell that you will smell at least once in your day
-to counterbalance the last one, everyone wears parfume/cologne
-Paris is more beautiful in the rain
-they do smoke a lot, and they start at a very young age
-the food is heavenly

False:
-they are rude: I've met a grand total of 2 rude frenchmen while I've been here.
-they dress in all black (they do wear a lot of neutrals, but also a lot of color!)
-they eat snails all the time
-they hate Americans

There you have it. Paris stereotypes in a nutshell.

Love always,
Ems