This conference, I went into conference in a totally different manner than I ever have. Our stake presidency had challenged us to read a talk a night in preparation for general conference. I started off a bit half-heartedly. My bedtime routine was already fairly extensive and adding on another thing to study before I slept...it was difficult. However, probably two weeks ago, I sat in institute and the challenge was given again and I decided to really take it upon myself to commit.
So I did. Every night I read a talk from October's conference and there was a palpable difference in my life. I can't fully describe that difference, but it was clearly prevalent in my life, my attitude, and my desire to do good. It made a difference in my willingness, excitement, and desire to learn from conference.
Reflecting back on conference, I realize that worries and concerns I didn't even know were really on my mind were completely calmed during conference. One, that I've written about before, was the feeling I struggle with that desiring to be a mother above anything else made me "less successful" and "less of a woman". Oh, how silly that thought seems to me now. Sis. Dalton's (I was close to tears when she got released) talk is now my new mantra. My desire to be a mother was reaffirmed as a righteous and wonderful goal, and I realized that those thoughts of inferiority are from Satan.
I felt that there was so much focus on the family and I soaked it all in. I know that the world I will have to raise my family in will be terrifying, but I have great faith and hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ and the divine support network of the church. I have great hope that through the teachings of latter day prophets, I will find strength to correctly guide my children to righteousness and happiness. I realize now, more than I ever have, that Sis. Dalton's words are true: "It is mothers ho most directly influence the lives of children... how great is their worth, how marvelous their contribution." I think I need to frame that quote in my room.
I am so excited for the opportunity to raise children. I know it will be hard, but I know there is nothing greater that I can do with my life. I'm grateful beyond expression for the uplifting words I heard this conference weekend. What a blessing it is to be led by men and women who are so close to God and know precisely what we most need to hear.
Love always,
Ems
