Why I'll Never Say I'm not a Feminist Again.

My good friend Caroline posted this advertisement on her Facebook the other day, and ever since, I haven't been able to skip it when it comes up on my YouTube, let alone get through it without crying a little bit.

All through my high school career, I professed that I WAS NOT under any circumstances a feminist. Little did I know, I just had the wrong idea about feminism. Being a feminist doesn't mean you don't support stay-at-home-moms, it doesn't mean you hate men, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. Quite the contrary. To me, being a feminist means that women should be able to be whatever they want. So my friend wants to be a lawyer and I want to stay at home, that's great! We can both do that and be outstanding examples of femininity. Being a feminist means you want girls to believe in themselves. You want women to love themselves and every part of their bodies and personalities. Being a feminist means that we form a network of women who love and support one another.

The beautiful thing about this advertisement is that it empowers women. It shows us that there was a point in our lives when we believed in ourselves, and thought that we could do anything as good as the next person because we were girls. It reminds us to believe in ourselves like our ten year-old self did.

And that is why I'll never say I'm not a feminist again. I believe in all those things. I believe women should be able to go out and achieve whatever they want. More importantly, I want my daughters to know that they can win the race, they can be a scientist or a doctor, and they can excel at whatever it is they want to.

Love always,
Ems 

Secret Sides.

 I love finding secret sides to people. I feel that everyone has a little bit of a secret side to them. The side that secretly wants to be a poet, or a movie star, or the next Josh Groban. These aren't the sides that we joke about or rejoice in, they're the sides that are so private and sacred to us that we just kind of hide them from the public. It's rare that anyone discovers them, but sometimes you do, and I think those secret sides say more about a person than anything that person could ever express in words.

I've talked before about dreams and how important I think it is to continue dreaming and to instill dreaming into children: this goes hand-in-hand with people's secret sides. I think that these secret desires of our hearts are important to becoming the best person we can; it's important to have something you're trying to achieve- even if it's only in private. Who knows, maybe someday my ridiculously awful collection of sappy poetry scribbled into a mini journal will mean a lot to my posterity. I certainly hope I leave behind something for them to cherish and remember me by (maybe something better than sappy poetry).

Just because we're "adults" doesn't mean we have to give up on our greatest hopes. Our fears may be greater, and the pressure may seem unsurmountable, but we can conquer all if we only believe. We can at least leave a mark on the world in some form or another. Even if it's just a mark on that cute boy who sits next to you in class, or a mark on your daughter who feels like the boy she likes will always be a jerk and happens to find your poetry journal.

I don't think we should just let these desires hide forever. Let them be seen, let them roar, but only on occasion. Only when you are sure they won't be mocked and scorned, because after all, these are our very own secret sides, and they do mean an awful lot to us.

Love always,
Ems

On my Soapbox.

I am going to get on my soapbox for a moment or so- you've been warned. 

---

My love for reading began at a young age, and because of this, I was reading classics at a rather young age. Morgan and I tried to read Emma when we were about in third grade, but that, obviously, didn't work so well. However, I first read Pride and Prejudice on my own in about seventh grade. I instantly decided that I needed to find my own Mr. Darcy; that outlook on life never really changed. Occasionally, I would decide that I wanted a Knightly more so than a Darcy, but I was always looking for Austen's ideal romantic.

This being said, I was taunted a bit for my romantic ideals by friends, parents of friends, and even boyfriends. It's not that any of them were ever mean about it, it was just always, "Oh, Emma. So in love with Darcy. The hopeless romantic." As high school drew to an end, it became a bit irritating to me as people began to say, "You're such a hopeless romantic. You will be married right off the bat at BYU." A. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic B. Please don't make that sound like such a bad thing and C. What does that have to do with my being a teenage bride? Nothing. People said this to me constantly and I would just smile and laugh and say, "Ya.... probably not (insert big false grin here)".

Now, two years down the road, I'm not married, and I always just kind of wonder what all those people think. Do they think I had some great feminist awakening inside of me that made me determined to not get married "right off the bat"? Definitely not the case. Do they think that I lost my hopeless romantic side and saw reality and decided marriage wasn't as great as Austen portrays? Nope. Do they think that I just gave up on love? Try again. 

The real fact of the matter is, that rather than loose those hopeless romantic ideals that I've had since first reading P&P, I've learned that they're not just ideals, they are in fact, a possible part of reality. I've found love (even more so than I did in High School, because yes, I do believe I truly loved people in high school) and I decided that I wasn't going to give up on my Mr. Darcy because, why would I do that when I know he's out there? The boys I dated at BYU, specifically Jacob and Garrett, showed me that I can prove all those nay-sayers wrong: the modern Mr. Darcy-MY Mr. Darcy- is not a thing of fiction, and he's worth the wait to find him. There are boys that will still "write you lines", and dance with you, and bring you flowers, and quote you Shakespeare, and tell you that you have, bewitch them mind, body, and soul. 

The other fact of the matter is that being a hopeless romantic does not mean that we expect our men to be perfect. Quite the opposite, in fact. Any great romantic knows that the perfection of Darcy and Bingley and Knightly and Edward Ferrars is that they make mistakes. Neither the heros nor the heroines of Austen's novels fall perfectly in love. There are jilted hearts and mixed up emotions, months of separation and confessions of love that aren't always eloquent and beautiful. Their love is not perfect, and it takes work, and sometimes (as in Marianne's case in S&S) it feels as if your heart will never heal again. 

So yes, I am a hopeless romantic. No, that does not mean that I am out of touch with society, and no, it does not mean that I will get married the second I fall in love with someone. I can fall in love multiple times, and every time, it can be just as real and just as true. Please, just let me be a hopeless romantic. You don't have to believe in romance in the same manner that I do, but I would like to be respected and taken seriously. 

Sincerely, 

An unmarried, BYU Junior, Hopeless Romantic.

Thoughts on being a Nanny.

I finally started my nannying job this week and I'm in love- again.

To say the month of May has been difficult for me  would be a minor understatement. It was incredibly difficult for me to transition from Provo  to back home and while I'm so happy to be back home, I was feeling pretty lonely- until I started nannying.

All week, I've been thinking about that verse in Psalms that reads, "Children are an inheritance from the Lord" and realizing how incredibly true that is. I cannot even fully explain how greatly I have felt that children are such a blessing in life. Even though my little kidlets aren't my own, they are blessing my life.

Children have an undeniable love for everyone (it seems). They are quick to befriend you, love you, and call you the best. They are excited to be alive, to explore the world, and to say uncle whenever you start tickling them. There is an infinity of goodness in their world; their world stands untainted from the sorrow and misery of adulthood. It's refreshing and energizing.

I think one of the greatest things they have taught me in this single week is pure and simple: love. To them, love is simple, it's easy, and it's natural. I don't understand why, when you become an adult, love becomes so complicated. Why can't we just love everyone like kids do? I have a firm belief that we, as people need to say, "I love you" more because the more love we have in life, the happier we will be. Love every day you encounter. Love the time you have with your family. Love the people in your life because really, aren't we all the same- sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.

Besides, if we're trying to become like Jesus, I think that first thing we all need to learn is to have more love in our lives.

Love always,
Ems

Mindless Job Means Lots of Thinking Time

{Via}

So, considering I'm at work for a good 8 or 9 hours every day, and considering the fact that I do a lot of filing at work, and considering that filing does not take a lot of brain power, I have had a considerable amount of time to think about life. That was a very long sentence.

I was recently re-reading letters from a dear friend and he was giving me a few tips on how to figure out if I wanted to go on a mission. He noted that I spend a lot of my time thinking about marriage (truth) and romantic love (truth) and that it might help to stop doing that if I decided I wanted to serve. Anyway, I thought about that for a moment, realized how well he knew me, and then tried to remember a time when I didn't think about those two things. I couldn't really remember a time when I didn't think about them.

Mind you, I have a pretty awful memory, but regardless, for as long as I can remember, I've always dreamed about my wedding and the romantic way in which my husband and I would meet, fall in love, and be married. I'm a bit of an overdramatic hopeless romantic – I always have been. As I've been filing things away, I've obviously been thinking about these things. Especially since Sophia's and Karli's missionaries are returning, and Naomi is getting married, and Rylee is married, and Haylee is pregnant, and the list goes on and on. It's all really exciting, I think, and I'm really happy and excited for all these adorable girls, but it gives me cause to think and daydream. I've not got the slightest idea about what will happen in the upcoming year or months, but I do plan on enjoying whatever life throws at me.

All I really know, is that it is pretty much impossible for me to fall in love without the boy being romantic. And I'm ok with my obsession with romantic love. And I enjoy daydreaming.


Love always,
Ems

Thoughts.

I really wasn't going to post about conference because I feel that the blogging world is overpowered with conference posts, however, I think I would be undoubtably ungrateful if I didn't share a few thoughts. And one of the brethren said that we should share our faith more often online, so here ya go!

This conference, I went into conference in a totally different manner than I ever have. Our stake presidency had challenged us to read a talk a night in preparation for general conference. I started off a bit half-heartedly. My bedtime routine was already fairly extensive and adding on another thing to study before I slept...it was difficult. However, probably two weeks ago, I sat in institute and the challenge was given again and I decided to really take it upon myself to commit.

So I did. Every night I read a talk from October's conference and there was a palpable difference in my life. I can't fully describe that difference, but it was clearly prevalent in my life, my attitude, and my desire to do good. It made a difference in my willingness, excitement, and desire to learn from conference.

Reflecting back on conference, I realize that worries and concerns I didn't even know were really on my mind were completely calmed during conference. One, that I've written about before, was the feeling I struggle with that desiring to be a mother above anything else made me "less successful" and "less of a woman". Oh, how silly that thought seems to me now. Sis. Dalton's (I was close to tears when she got released) talk is now my new mantra. My desire to be a mother was reaffirmed as a righteous and wonderful goal, and I realized that those thoughts of inferiority are from Satan.

I felt that there was so much focus on the family and I soaked it all in. I know that the world I will have to raise my family in will be terrifying, but I have great faith and hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ and the divine support network of the church. I have great hope that through the teachings of latter day prophets, I will find strength to correctly guide my children to righteousness and happiness. I realize now, more than I ever have, that Sis. Dalton's words are true: "It is mothers ho most directly influence the lives of children... how great is their worth, how marvelous their contribution." I think I need to frame that quote in my room.

I am so excited for the opportunity to raise children. I know it will be hard, but I know there is nothing greater that I can do with my life. I'm grateful beyond expression for the uplifting words I heard this conference weekend. What a blessing it is to be led by men and women who are so close to God and know precisely what we most need to hear.

Love always,
Ems

Shoes.

Tonight, I sliped on my flip flops for the first time in months, and as I did, I was immediately taken back to my memories of Florida and the many different parks those shoes had walked through.

 Maybe I'm just weird, but my shoes hold lots of memories. I have so many different pairs, but whenever I slip on certain pairs, I'm instantly taken back to the memories that I created in them.

For example, when I put on my brown flats earlier this week, I was reminded of how I bought them to wear to Senior Year Winter Formal. Slipping on my Sperry Top-siders remind me of Disney, as do all my sandals, but especially my Salt Waters. My black Toms remind me of visiting Josh in DC and my Pumas remind me of running on the BYU track with Morgan last year.

Maybe I'm just a sentimental person, but I feel like my shoes are a part of me. They've gone everywhere with me, and they've done their job well. I love that such a simple piece of my closet can bring back such fond memories; it's almost as though my shoes inspire me to go out and do something worthwhile while I'm wearing them.

Love always,
Ems

Thoughts from the Week.

I don't know why, but this week, I've been thinking a lot about what I want my future to look like. I've been thinking about what I want to do after I graduate and what all the posibilites are.
Here's the honest truth. I have exactly zero desire to pursue any sort of graduate degree.
My roommates tend to gawk whenever I say that, but it's true.
I've thought about it a lot, and I just don't.

The main reason is this: I want to graduate, work while my husband finishes his graduate degree, and start a family. When that first child arrives, I want to stay home. That's all. I've never dreamed of having a big career and then starting a family or of having a career and having a family. I've only ever wanted to graduate with a degree and have a family that I'm with 24/7. I know that this irks a lot of women who feel that it's wrong to be so confined, but I don't understand why we all can't have our own separate goals. Sure, my roommates may want to go to law school, or get their masters, but I don't. I feel so amazed by women who can balance work and family life but I think it's alright that I don't want to do that. It is hard, at times, to stick to what I've always wanted. A lot fo the time, I fell like an inferior woman for "only" wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, but then I remember that a lot of the women who I admire beyond anything are "only" stay-at-home moms. Personally, I think that it is one of the greatest things a woman can do. I'm so grateful that my mom set that example for me and showed me what a blessing it is to raise children. I'm grateful for her dedication to us and her support in our dreams. I'm also really grateful that I have her to look for in my aspiration to be a mother.

So no, I don't plan on going to grad school. And I don't feel any less successful because of that.

Love always,
Ems

Dreams.

Today, I was sitting in the RB and I saw  some little girls come in dressed in their ballet attire. As I watched them walk into the dance studio all bright eyed and excited, I thought back on the days when I was young and eager to go to dance every single day. It never got tedious, it was one of the few things that I wanted to continually do (other than snuggle up and read Harry Potter).

Reflecting on that, I realized how easy it is for dreams to diminish. One day you dream of dancing on Broadway and suddenly, you're trapped in years of school, with your nose smashed in a book, forgetting that you ever wanted to write your own book, let alone be on Broadway.

Why is this? Why is it that we let our dreams fall into oblivion?

I don't really have an answer other than life gets in the way. We are told that nobody makes it on Broadway and the writing will get you nowhere because nobody makes it as an author, either. And yet, we still have people who persist and succeed in their dreams: Tolkien, Gene Kelly, Molière, Emma Stone. I suppose we settle for lesser dreams, but watching that girl walk into her dance class, clad in her Nutcracker sweatshirt, I just prayed that her hopes and dreams forever continued to grow, that she never lost sight of her name in the program at the Lincoln Center, that she clung to her ballet dreams as much as she clung to her mother's hand.

Perhaps I should chase down some of my dreams.

Love always,
Ems

A Best Friend.

Today, I need to give a little shout out to one of my best friends- Zac Velarde.

You see, at the time this picture was taken, Zac and I were almost and practically dating. At the time that I'm writing this, we're no longer dating, but we're still best friends. Sometimes we won't talk for months and then I'll need some good, solid advice on boys, and I immediately text Zac- my ex-boyfriend. Funny, isn't it?

Recently, I've been in need of a lot of advice from him, and he has been incredibly willing to help me out, calm me down, and make me realize that it's not the end of the world or make me realize that I'm not imagining things when I think someone is into me. Thanks, Zac, you're a true friend.

Anyway. People always wonder at how and why I'm still friends with all of my ex-boyfriends. I usually say, "I dunno... I just am. It was just easier..." but when I really think about it, I realize that I would be a total dumbo not to keep the boys I've dated as close friends. They know me better than a lot of my friends and some might even know me better than my closest girlfriends. They understand why I'm crazy and in what ways I'm crazy, and they care about me enough to stick around. I guess I've always been lucky to break up in a way that is easy for both of us and keeps our friendship and closeness intact. I'm really so grateful for that.

So today, I just want to say thank you to Zac Velarde. Heavens knows I'd be a crazy-head if I didn't have him to calm me down these past few days.

Love you, friend!

Love always,
Ems

Reflections on my Time at Disney.

 Recently, I've been suffering from something I've coined, "Disney Depression". My dad freaked out a little bit when I told him I was suffering from it because he thought I hated my time spent in Florida. He would be wrong. Today, I would like to shed some light on my time spent at Disney and why I'm suffering from Disney Depression.

Disney was an absolutely amazing experience- one that I would not trade in for the world. Working for Disney and being part of the Disney College Program has ALWAYS been one of my life goals. In fact, I remember when I first heard about the Disney College Program and began to realize that being a part of the Disney cast was an absolute possibility- I had a mini freak out inside. The career counselor at Mountain View told me about it and how her daughter had gone twice and loved it. From that moment, I knew I would be applying to the program in the future. 

When I got accepted into the program, I was ecstatic. I could not contain my happiness. I immediately printed out the acceptance letter and hung it up on my wall. There were lots of bumps along the way of getting to Florida but eventually, it all worked out and I flew across the country to start an amazing part of my life. 

Once in Florida, I was blessed to have 5 amazing roommates who I will forever love and cherish. We were all the same age and all excited to finally be working at Walt Disney World. We got along (for the most part) and had Just Dance parties up the wazoo. Honestly, they were so great and such life savers- all of them.

Actually working for Disney was wonderful. I had great people I worked with and interacted with the most adorable kiddos every day. It was easy to go to work because there was a group of us "Mormon girls" that the entire cast of Typhoon liked, respected, and found adorably innocent (go figure... it happens).  It was nice to count on Marisa, Riki, Emma, Megan, and Brooke to have as wing-women (and Adam was always a great wing-man). Together, we spent countless hours sweating in the ridiculous Florida heat trying not to die of heat exhaustion. 

The part that was hard for me was the relationship that I got into down there. Which, granted, had I listened to my mom or remembered how much a certain boy living in Morocco meant to me, would have never happened but, I was an "adult" living on the other side of the country- clearly my mom didn't know what she was talking about (boy was I wrong about that).  Ultimately, I think that the relationship ruined my happiness at Disney. Church, which was once my safe haven from the craziness at Typhoon, now became a place where I was glared at with animosity as I sat trying to enjoy services. It was stressful, saddening, and depressing. I almost always came away from church on the verge of tears. It's amazing how much one person can hurt you.

Luckily, I had roomies who loved me and alway had my back plus, Mr. Rick Dekers came into my life and became a cherished friend and body guard (haha. The body guard part is only half a joke... half not). Between my roomies, my Dutch friends, my Australian friends, and some really kind and caring people at church, I was able to mostly keep my head up. However, when my family arrived in Florida and picked me up from work, I couldn't hold back the sobbing. Finally, I had my dependable safe haven back. As it turned out, my mom had to use to my ticket home to fly to Utah because my grandma shattered her ankle. This meant I had to curtail my time at Disney and drive home with my dad and brothers. Looking back at the state I was in towards the end of my program, this was a huge blessing in disguise. 

Now that I've gone on for probably a lot longer than needed, let me tell you why I am suffering from Disney Depression. Disney is hands down the most magical company in the world. People always ask me if working in the parks ruins the magic and I always say it doesn't lessen the magic one little bit. There is just a happiness that Disney creates that stimulates those happy endorphins in you. It's contagious. I would go back to work for Disney in a heart beat. Seeing commercials for Disney Parks every time a commercial break comes on during The Bachelor (yes, we are addicted in Apt. 25) is like a pluck at my hear strings. The happiness that they portray in those commercials is 100% authentic. 100%! That is what I adore about Disney. Sure, I don't miss standing out in the 100 degree heat with 90% humidity, but I do miss the magic of the parks. The laughing kids meeting the Mickey, the little princesses prancing around in their dresses- each a real live Belle or Cinderella. I miss the smiles of cast members and being able to relate to them when they say they're on overtime right now. I miss the parades, the music, the dancers, the costumes, the fireworks. 

There is just nothing in the world that compares to Disney. 

That's why I will suffer from Disney Depression for my entire life.

It's incurable and yet, it's so special. 

So thanks, Mr. Walt Disney for providing something that nobody can recreate nor capture adequately in words- you've touched millions 

(if not billions) of people with your magic. 

Love always, 

Ems

Forgiveness and Friendship are a Package Deal

I wrote something on my Storylane that I normally wouldn't share on my blog, but I feel that there needs to be some realness on this blog- life ain't always smiles and happiness for anyone (even though life is PRETTY darn good most of the time). Anyway, here you go:

Relationships are difficult for many reasons. Although I may pin "tricks to making your relationship work" over and over, I don't think that there really are any tricks, there is just hard work and effort, forgiveness and friendship. I learned this best with a relationship that left me with many emotional scars that were incredibly difficult for me to overcome.

After wallowing in misery for a while (yes, it happens) I got down on my knees one night and pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help lift me from the sadness that I felt so engrossed in. I had a thought, a prompting would be more of an appropriate word, that I needed to forgive and let my forgiveness be known. This was incredibly difficult for me to understand. I felt as though my innocence and happiness had been ripped from me in this relationship and I did not see the benefit of forgiving this guy, not to mention the fact that I was terrified to contact him. However, the feeling persisted and I decided I needed to follow through on it. So, I messaged him and told him that I cherished the fun we had and did not want him to feel as though I held a grudge against him. Immediate relief followed his reply of gratitude. Although it has still been rocky, I've found that as my forgiveness has been more and more genuine, my understanding of him and my ability to be on good-enough terms have increased. I've been able to find happiness in a new relationships that have made my life fuller, and because I decided to forgive my past relationship, I've been able to move past the scars and hurt to new love and adventure.

I learned in that moment that there is bound to be hurt when a relationship ends. There are bound to be misunderstandings and misgivings. There are bound to be tears and sadness. However, if you decide to forgive that person, as well as yourself, there is also bound to be friendship, there is bound to be understanding.

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"It was not only wickedness and scheming that made people unhappy, it was confusion and misunderstanding; above all, it was the failure to grasp the simple truth that other people are as real as you."

-Atonement by Ian McEwan

Love always,

Ems

image via

Why I love Books.

I remember when I first read Anne of Green Gables. I was enchanted to no end. I loved Anne. I wanted to be her so bad. I remember begging my mom to find the next couple of books in the series because Anne needed to be in my life. I remember going into my backyard and pretending that I was Anne walking across my invisible picket fence. I decided to refer to my best friends as my kindred spirits when I wrote in my journal. Anne was my hero, and I loved her as a dear friend- I still do.

The first book I remember connecting to however, was Roll of Thunder Hear my Cry. I read it in fourth grade and it moved me. I cannot remember in what way it moved me, but I remember finishing it and feeling different. Last year, I bought it for my own collection just so I could own it. I haven't reread it since my initial read all those years ago but, just remembering the feeling I had in finishing it brings back chills as I remember falling in love with books. 

I love the power of books to create a world, pull you in, and block out all the noise of life- the pain, the sorrow, the craziness and the stress of normal life. Books have the ability to take that all away and a good book makes you stop and analyze your world through its lens to change your own world. I was talking to Garrett the other day and he asked me for my favorite Jane Austen book (aside from Pride & Prejudice because he's already read it). I told him Emma and he proceeded to tell me that he needed another book to read as he headed to Ohio for his Grandma's funeral. He needed an escape, and he was seeking it in a book. I immediately understood how he was feeling and what he was seeking. Only books can remove you from the world in such a way. That is their power and beauty. 

I love books because the teach. 

I love books because they move you. 

I love books because they inspire.

But most of all, 

I love books because they create an escape from reality. 

Love always, 

Ems

Friendship

There is much to be said for friendship. There is much to be said for finding new friendship and relishing in it. There is also so much to be said for strengthening old friendships that never seem to fade, no matter the things it's been through. In my time at college, I've realized how vital that feeling of friendship is to me, and more recently, I've realized how incredibly lucky I am to be surrounded by the friends, both old and new, that I have.

We had some friends over for dinner yesterday, and it was lovely to sit around the table and talk about all sorts of things; the feeling of friendship was almost palpable in our apartment, and in that moment, I was so incredibly happy. Then again today,  I sat in the library with a friend and my heart was full of a different happiness that I haven't felt for a while; a feeling of camaraderie and laughter that seemed to fill every part of my soul. When I came home to the roommates that I love, I was once again filled with that happiness, knowing they were ready and willing to listen to any exasperations or excitements that had happened today- I was just as eager to hear of their days. And as I went about the duties of the day, a dear, dear friend called me for advice, and I felt that we were both strengthened and uplifted by the conversation that ensued.

Knowing that you have people who truly care for you is an amazing blessing. It's incredible to see how friends reach out to you without even knowing how much you needed that hug or  that five minute phone call. I hope beyond all hope that I'm as good a friend to those I love as they are to me.

Love always,
Ems

Good Conversation.

I've begun to realize that some of my happiest moments in life revolve around good conversation. There is nothing that I love more than sitting down with a friend, or a stranger, or a somewhere-in-between, and just talking for hours on end.

Last night I went on a date with a boy from my British Literature class. I was incredibly nervous before he picked me up because I felt like I hadn't been on a date with someone I wasn't well acquainted with in ages. But from the moment he picked me up, to the moment he dropped me off, we just talked and talked and talked without a single lull in the conversation. We talked about everything from the pillow pet my roommates bought me last year, to tithing, to what we hope to accomplish in our lives. It was so easy, and it was so good. I came home incredibly energized and happy and with so many new and wonderful thoughts and ideas in my head.

I love the opportunity that good conversation allows you to really understand a person. People fascinate me and I adore how good conversation helps me see the world from their perspective. I like when you find a subject that you don't agree on, but you can understand one another's perspectives. I love to see the facial expressions of people when they talk about their family, or the person who broke their heart. I feel that there are few things that are more human that understanding a person through conversation. We need that conversation, we thrive off of it, and I feel that it lifts your heart and brightens your life in such a beautiful way.

It's an amazing thing we have- the ability to communicate and understand one another's lives and stories. It's something that I've really begun to cherish.

Love always,
Ems

One Twelfth.

Sometimes, I feel like every day is an accomplishment. 

Let me rephrase that, everyday I feel like getting through the day is an accomplishment. 

There are lots of reasons.

One, sometimes it's really hard to get up and go to school when it's pitch black and 30 degrees outside (let's not talk about winter coming.)

Two, working for 20 hours a week. Sometimes I feel like work is my life.  (Good thing I love it)

Three, getting all my homework done and still having time to enjoy my friends. 

Four, getting to sleep at a decent hour. 

Five, not crying because I miss that darn good missionary. 

So ya, everyday is an accomplishment  and today, I've accomplished one twelfth of my ultimate accomplishment. That one twelfth feels like it's been five years already. 

Time is a funny thing, because I look back and I think, "Wow, I cannot believe it's already mid-October." 

Then I think, "Wait a second, shouldn't it already be Christmas?" 

And I end thinking, "Just keep moving on because the less you think about it, the faster it'll go."

But overall, life is good. 

I've got amazing roommates,

the best work friends on the planet, 

and I'm taking classes that I adore and can't wait to get to each day.  

Oh, and after my French speaking exam, my French teacher told me he was impressed with my fluidity. It made my day. I practically skipped out of the JKB. 

Life is good.

Love always,

Ems 

Connecting with the Cousins.

              I've  felt really cool recently because my younger cousins started following me on Instagram. Which to most people wouldn't be that cool, but since I don't see them all that often, I feel really cool and quickly follow them back and like all their pictures. (I may be overenthusiastic about this all and be an annoying older cousin who really wants to be their friend but that's a different story...)

Anyway, the point of this blog post is how much I love technology and how much fun it is for me to be a part of their lives through such a simple thing as Instagram. It's actually really crazy to me still because I feel like there's no way they're old enough to even be on Instagram and Facebook but, apparently, I'm older than I think I am because they are. 

I love that even though I haven't seen my Texan cousins for two years, I still feel like I am celebrating birthdays with them. I love seeing pictures of dance and remembering what a fun time of life that is; how exciting life is from their view. I love that I can like a picture and comment and show them that I love them, even if it's just in that small way. 

Also, they better watch out because goodness knows that I'll start calling them when they start thinking about boys. 

Have I ever said that I really love my family? Because I can't even express how much I adore them. 

Love always, 

Ems

Feeling Shakespearian.

I've been reading Twelfth Night for my Early British Literature class and I forget how much I love Shakespeare until I read him again. 
He's hilarious. 
The insults? I literally laugh out loud at some of them. 
For instance: hyperbolical fiend, dissembling cub, thou dishonest Satan. 
Classic. 
Also, I love that everything just crumples at the end of his comedies. 
All of the sudden, the people who were dead appear, men are in actuality women, and Lords are falling in love with their servants!

How can you not love him?
I find it impossible. 

Love always,
Ems

Personal Cheerleader.

Last night, we watched Freedom Writers. It was a stirring movie that really made me want to become an English Teaching major again (Jacob always teased me because I watch a documentary or movie and decide I'm changing my life ambitions.) 

However, as I watched, one of the striking aspects of the film was the relationship between Hilary Swank's character and her husband. In the film, she devotes a ton of time to changing the lives of her students and towards the end, her husband decides he's done and leaves her. Which is tragic. Sure, she was spending most of her time with her students, but it was her passion, and he didn't try and see that passion or be a part of it. 

This is what got me thinking about relationships. First off, they're ridiculously difficult. They take time, and courage, and patience, and just about every other virtue that is good to work out; relationships don't just fall from the sky all perfect and cheery, you've got to work at them. Secondly, in a relationship, you've got to cheer for each other. That's what I learned last night. I feel like in any relationship, your other half has to be your greatest cheerleader and motivator or it just can't work, and that part of the relationship has to go both ways. 

I'm no expert at relationships, but I've now added personal cheerleader to my list of qualities for my mister right. 

Love always, 

Ems 

p.s. one month down, twenty-three to go. 

That Missing Piece.

Often times, I feel like little pieces of my heart are scattered.
Some are in Arizona, some are hours away away from me, some are minutes away.
But, they're still all scattered
And there's always a little missing piece in my heart for them.

However, I feel like that scattering makes those pieces fit better when every piece is back together.
When I return home, nothing feels so sweet,
When I hug my grandma again, she always means more to me,
And when I get a letter, I feel like I could fly.

People say that once they're out of sight, they're out of mind,
but I believe in the contrary saying:
distance makes the heart grow fonder.
If it didn't, I don't think there'd be much reason for us to be on Earth,
we could have just stayed in heaven, close to our Heavenly Father forever.

Instead, we're here on Earth, growing closer to him;
just as we grow closer to those who are important to us on the Earth while they're away.

And that's why I believe that feeling like I'm missing a piece of my heart,
is worth the wait and only makes my love grow stronger.

Love always,
Ems