I wish that I could be like Jane Eyre and Elizabeth Bennet.
Women who stick to themselves and know who they are and aren't gallivanting about the world for the favor of those who hardly know them.
Tonight, I spent time with two of my closest friends, Alex and Becca. After watching and crying through Wuthering Heights then being uplifted (yes, uplifted) by the reality of (500) Days of Summer, we laid on Alex's couches in the near dark and discussed the movies, life, and moving onto real life with finances, boy's missions, efy jobs, and future (three years at least) marriages.
Then we came to an interesting topic: personas we put on. We were discussing internet personas and how you try so hard to put out your best self for the world of strangers that know about your life through blogs and facebook. How it takes meticulous work to make sure you're saying the right thing and that you appear like the person you want to be... even if it may not be you.
And it got me thinking as to why I write a blog. And I'm still trying to figure it out. For as much as I love getting comments on posts, and knowing what people think about my blog, it takes away the genuineness of what I write. It's still me, but I often wonder if it's just a different version of me- a version that wants to be a "hip blogger" with thousands of follwers and hundreds of comments per post, but also, the real version of me that wants to just blog- to write- not caring about the number of comments I get or the number of followers I have... Or maybe not even a blogger but rather just end my blog and keep my journal open more.
It's an interesting concept. Your persona. Why do we put them on? God created us, personalities and all, to be who we are, yet we always try to reshape his work- it's really quite ridiculous when put into that perspective.
And now I'm rambling.