On my Soapbox.

I am going to get on my soapbox for a moment or so- you've been warned. 

---

My love for reading began at a young age, and because of this, I was reading classics at a rather young age. Morgan and I tried to read Emma when we were about in third grade, but that, obviously, didn't work so well. However, I first read Pride and Prejudice on my own in about seventh grade. I instantly decided that I needed to find my own Mr. Darcy; that outlook on life never really changed. Occasionally, I would decide that I wanted a Knightly more so than a Darcy, but I was always looking for Austen's ideal romantic.

This being said, I was taunted a bit for my romantic ideals by friends, parents of friends, and even boyfriends. It's not that any of them were ever mean about it, it was just always, "Oh, Emma. So in love with Darcy. The hopeless romantic." As high school drew to an end, it became a bit irritating to me as people began to say, "You're such a hopeless romantic. You will be married right off the bat at BYU." A. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic B. Please don't make that sound like such a bad thing and C. What does that have to do with my being a teenage bride? Nothing. People said this to me constantly and I would just smile and laugh and say, "Ya.... probably not (insert big false grin here)".

Now, two years down the road, I'm not married, and I always just kind of wonder what all those people think. Do they think I had some great feminist awakening inside of me that made me determined to not get married "right off the bat"? Definitely not the case. Do they think that I lost my hopeless romantic side and saw reality and decided marriage wasn't as great as Austen portrays? Nope. Do they think that I just gave up on love? Try again. 

The real fact of the matter is, that rather than loose those hopeless romantic ideals that I've had since first reading P&P, I've learned that they're not just ideals, they are in fact, a possible part of reality. I've found love (even more so than I did in High School, because yes, I do believe I truly loved people in high school) and I decided that I wasn't going to give up on my Mr. Darcy because, why would I do that when I know he's out there? The boys I dated at BYU, specifically Jacob and Garrett, showed me that I can prove all those nay-sayers wrong: the modern Mr. Darcy-MY Mr. Darcy- is not a thing of fiction, and he's worth the wait to find him. There are boys that will still "write you lines", and dance with you, and bring you flowers, and quote you Shakespeare, and tell you that you have, bewitch them mind, body, and soul. 

The other fact of the matter is that being a hopeless romantic does not mean that we expect our men to be perfect. Quite the opposite, in fact. Any great romantic knows that the perfection of Darcy and Bingley and Knightly and Edward Ferrars is that they make mistakes. Neither the heros nor the heroines of Austen's novels fall perfectly in love. There are jilted hearts and mixed up emotions, months of separation and confessions of love that aren't always eloquent and beautiful. Their love is not perfect, and it takes work, and sometimes (as in Marianne's case in S&S) it feels as if your heart will never heal again. 

So yes, I am a hopeless romantic. No, that does not mean that I am out of touch with society, and no, it does not mean that I will get married the second I fall in love with someone. I can fall in love multiple times, and every time, it can be just as real and just as true. Please, just let me be a hopeless romantic. You don't have to believe in romance in the same manner that I do, but I would like to be respected and taken seriously. 

Sincerely, 

An unmarried, BYU Junior, Hopeless Romantic.

If I Could....

Were it possible,
I would bake all summer for my summer job
I would read every book known to man
I would have a beautiful summer romance
I would spend weeks on the beach
I would spend those weekes with my hand in someone else's
I would make all mean people nice
I would teach little girls to believe they are princesses
I would dance ballet professionally
I would live forever in a beautiful, enchanted place

And life would be perfect.

But life is quite as perfect as it is ever going to get, currently, (although I would enjoy some romance....) And I do adore it. Sometimes, I find that dreams are best left as dreams- for although they are wonderful to wish for, it is always nice to have a little dream land to escape to. And although some people are just horrid mean, I find that some people, like Dr. Temme, can take all the mean, negative energy out of the day by being so utterly wonderful. And that, truly, is a blessing.

Isn't it nice to look around and realize that life is wonderful?

Love always,
Ems

Dear Future Love,

Let us have a wedding filled with yellow.

And ride around on a tandum bike.

Let us kiss like in the Notebook.

Let us go to a ballet, and hold hands the entire time.

Let us paint our house happy colors together

and have paint wars as we do.

Let us have garden outside

and occasionally let it die....

just for fun.

Let us play Boggle and Scrabble for hours on end.

Let us read in a hammock together.

Let us row boats.

Let us sleep out under the stars.

Let us spontaniously dance in the kitchen.

Let us make music together.

Let us fall asleep watching Pride and Prejudice and cuddling.

Let us sleep in often because we can.

let us be together forever.

Let us never be a apart.

Let us be in love.

Sound like a deal?

thanks. :)

Love Always,

Ems 

When my mind wanders....

So, I was thinking today. 

About school. 

You see, I got my schedual and realized that I have zero classes with friends. 

Well except the norm of choir, orchestra and stuco

(and Ryan and I have seminary together)

but then I was thinking... this is great!

I can meet lots of new people. 

And then I thought about how romantic school potentially is!

Think about it....

new day of school... 

no friends....

cute, nice boy....

Boy meets girls.... 

love comes along...

and happily ever after...

. ah.... 

if only life were like my crazy thoughts. 

It'd be so much better. 

In sounded much more romantic in my head though... 

just fyi.

So this is what happens when I'm left to my own thoughts..... 

I love romantic things. 

And now I want to watch Emma.... 

or The Notebook.... 

I own neither. 

I'll just read Emma. :) 

Oh Jane Austen, 

how I adore you. :)

 Oh I love Mr. Knightly. :)

And Emma and I are the same person. 

seriously.

If you have not seen the new BBC Emma...

i speak VERY highly of it. 

lovely.

I also love that Mr. Knightly reminds me of my best friend.

Except we shall not get married like he and emma.

We would kill each other. 

hm... I'm off to Austenland.

Love Always,

Ems 

Girls Nights=Love

Man oh man alive, can I just say I LOVE my girlies to death?! I do. :) So we all needed some time together, and Lizzie wanted to cry, and we wanted to laugh and just be girls! Ya know how that goes? Of course you do! {if you're a girl you do.} So here's how the night went down. :)

Calsta arrives, Lizzie arrives. Venting session for a moment.

Venting over, cry your eyes out movie time: A Walk to Remember. {Namoi joins in the middle}

LOVE this quote.

 

{he is D.A.N.G. fine.}

Wait....Shane West makes our hearts melt again?!?! WHAT?! Not even kidding, we were all BAWLING our eyes out. It was so crazy but wonderful! Why do girls love to cuddle together and cry? mmhhh.... I think I'm in love. :)  With life and romance, no surprise there, right? :)

So then, we decided to hop in the mustang and drive with the top down to Albertson's to Redbox My Sister's Keeper but guess what? They had no such thing in the magical redbox! So we looked around at the movies and they were all on sale for eight bucks {can you say BARGIN?!} And Lizzie saw The Women, said she loved it, and the next second, it was bought! Along with some strawberrry Mentos to please Lizzie and her love and craving. :)

So, if you have not seen The Women and you are a gal, CHECK IT OUT! Oh my goodness, best chick flick of my life!!! You will LOVE it. :) {MiniK joined, and Namoi left}

mhmhmhmhmh. Best Girl's Night movie ever. Can I say that enough? I think not. :) We laughed our guts out, not even kidding. :) It was fabulous.  Schmecca joined like half way through so at the end we went back and did a replay of our favorite parts. Especially, "let me teach you something very important: Nobody hates Saks." or, "She's not in the Vault?! We need to DRAG her into the vault!"

I love my girls. And our girl nights, you forget how much you love girl's nights until you have one again. LOVE. :) And tomorrow, we have girlfriend pictures! YES! Soooo excited! :) And then, New Year's Eve with Mr. R's family. Fun stuff right there, oh yes it is! :) I think I shall go make a To Do list of the things I need to accomplish tomorrow and then head to bed with the most pleasant of dreams! :) Have a wonderful day! :)

Love Always,

Ems

Oh, and in memory, here are a few pictures from our first girl's night ever. :) Gotta love it. :

 Calsta... :)

 

 Glowing Lizzie? With biodegradable spoon?

 

yes, we can eat biodegradable spoons. :)

Brr!!! I know it's winter!

BRRRRR!!!!! It's cooooold here in Utah! And I'm missing all my homies back in my good 'ole Mesa! Well, had I remembered to bring my connector of camera to computer, I would be showing you some delightful pictures of Mr. West's visit to sunny Mesa, however, I forgot, so we will prolong that post till I get home. :(

I suddenly have the biggest urge to watch The Notebook.... :) I have no idea why, but I super want to. :)

Like really really ridicuously bad. Does anyone have any suggestions on wonderful romantic movies for me to watch?! :) I want to see some new ones. :)

I really want to see two Nicholas Sparks movies that are coming out. First is This
Holy.crap. Cannot wait to see this move in February! :) :) The second is this:
Yes, that is Miley Cyrus. Don't be hatin, kay? First off, I LIKE HER! Like a lot. And second off the movie looks amazing!!! If you don't believe me go {here} um wait.. ya, I CANNOT wait to see it. I have no idea when it comes out but it looks fabulous!!!

Also, has anyone heard of this movie?!Watch the preview {here}. Kay, let it just be known, any movie that has Love Story in the preview already has me stolen and a ticket bought!!! LOVE that song. Plus, this movie looks so dang cute and I just love this girl! She's fabulous. She gained my total respect when she wore a one piece in Mama Mia. I'm sure she didn't really have a say in that but I like to believe she did. :) And She's in Dear John so.... :) LOVE!

Anyways, pretty sure I'm just in a romantic mood right now and that sometimes causes problems like oh... staying up and watching Pride&Prejudice. Yup. I think I shall go do that. :) Merry Christmas Eve Eve! I hope everyone has a wonderful day! :)

Love Always,
Ems

Holes, Weddings & Rambelings

So, good or bad first?

hm... lets' go with the bad news bears first, then we can kick them out without a fear of them eating us. :) And anyways, this ends up happy. :)

So, do you even suddenly have like this terrible feeling that a huge hole has been made in your heart and it's never going to get better? I know it sounds stupid, and lame, and so stereotypical, but I seriously felt exactly like that today! Long, long, long story. So I felt like this, and it was terrible. And I was doing chemistry homework which probably didn't help....but that's super beside the point. So I wrapped up in a warm blanket and sat at my desk doing my homework trying not to cry, and talking to Mr. R. He finally got it all out of me on why I was feeling so terribly hurt and helped like.....five zillion times over, just like he always does!I felt like giving him my heart at that moment cause he seriously pretty much saved it from total and utter despair! See, I told you he's a life saver of a friend! p.s. I love this picture. :)

So onto the happiness, cause after my little sad episode, I sure am happy! Reasons?
#1 We're going to buy a Christmas Tree!

#2 This cute cute thing I found {here} which is now a favorite blog of mine! This is a proposal caught on {camera} film and it about made my heart die it was so cute! {I should proabably be more careful with that heart of mine....it seems to be in danger lots! haha}
#3 My Wedding song was on the radio today as I was driving around! it's now the song of the day! :) It's called Then by Brad Paisley. :) Find it {here} LOVE love love THAT SONG! It for sure will be the first dance at my wedding. :) It's sooooo cute! :)

#4 Today in english I had a scene from Pride&Prejudice stuck in my head! not.even.kidding. Funny thing is, it's the scene I dislike the most! Except I learned to love it from Mr. ACK because he taught me how very important it is to the story! I still kinda loath it though.... cause it has Caroline Bingley in it and I LOATH her!!!{loath.loath.loath}

#5 I stole this adorable wedding picture from facebook. I just thought it was soooo cute! GAH! I can't even handle it! Don't worry, I know the bride in the picture! I'm not that much of a stalker! Kay, maybe I am... but that's a different story. :)
#6 I just love thinking about weddings and getting married so it automatically makes me so so very happy thinking/seeing anything at all cute and related to getting married. I know, I need help. I've been told that only about a gagillion times, don't even worry.

#7 Winter Formal is still soooooo super close and I'm still sooooo excited! you don't even know. Mr. R and I will knock your socks off because we do so well at the picture scavenger hunt! :) plus, our pictures will be the best!

#8 There are officially only 18 days left in our countdown! Praise the sweet heavens above! :)

#9 I found this:hm.... can you say heart melting??? {once again with the heart...} I love this for two fold A. It's just soooo super cute B. I totally agree with it. You have no idea, it's the very best. :) and sooo edorable! And I love it when boys are adorable!

#10 I also found this which reminds me sooo very much of my very good friend, Ego Boy, cause he's seriously OBSESSED with pokemon. hahaha. Made me rofl.
and this one cause he loves pancakes....

And here is a picture list of things I'd much rather be doing right now and what I'm thinking. :)
I want to do this-->
but preferably not alone, with someone, cause then it's cute and romantic. :)
Have I ever mentioned that I'm pretty sure I need some help? Also, I'm now officially positive I have a very bad case of wanderlust. Oh well, I love it. :) And these quotes pretty much sum up my thoughts right now:

When love is not madness, it is not love.
-Pedro Calderon de la Barca


Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.
-Malagasy Proverb


Do I love you because you're beautiful,
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
-Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella

Oh my, what is a girl to do??? :)
Love always,
Ems

{Thanksgiving}

YAY! I love the holidays! Where to begin with thankfulness?? Let's start at last night... :)

MONOPOLY+siblings=probably the most competitive thing since the world began. not.even.kidding. So... we started the game at about eight. I went to bed at about 2:20 cause I was dying I was so tired. My brothers....they stayed up till 3:45. By the end of the game, Josh had sacrificed himself, Caleb and I had become a corporation, Josh came back from the dead to take my spot, and Seth was still killing us!!!! HE HAD TWO MONOPOLIES!!!! We had the entire rest of the board! It was craziness, plain craziness. Not to mention the fact that we ate an entire bag of Twizzlers, a box of Dots, and a thing of Mac&Cheese. Ya, don't mess with Barton family monopoly games. Just another reason why I love my brothers. :)I'm thankful for cute little things like above....and just romantic cute things in general. They make my life all the better and happier. :) I'm especially thankful for super kind messages from people that make me smile to the ends of the Earth and back just because they're so cute and nice-waking up to those are the very very very best. :)

I'm grateful for these girls:
They've been my all to me forever and I love them to death. We've had the best of times and the worst of times. But I'm pretty sure that if we got back together for a night we'd be the same crazy friends we used to be. They've always been there for me and pretty much I think we taught each other everything we know. I really don't know where I'd be without them....probably some loner in the corner wearing ugly cloths and still wearing slickedback ponytails.... But really, I'm so thankful for everything they've done for me, I don't know what I'd do without them. And, I miss them. But I'm grateful for them.

I'm also grateful for these gorgeous girls:
So how we all came together is crazy and we really can't even remember how it happened. But they've made my high school transition so much better. Brought me up from super sad times. Given me advice in crazy situations and although I don't always follow their advice {...Lizzie...} I know they're always going to be there for me when I'm crying over something. Even though we've been having some weird times recently, I'm sure it's just a phase and Utah will mend everything. :) I really do love all these girls so crazy much, I can't even express it fully, they're just the best. end of story.

I'm grateful that my parents have made travel such an important part of growing up. Because then when I happen upon pictures like the above I can say, "I've been there! It was awesome!" I was so happy when I randomly found this picture cause I felt so cool having been there. I LOVE traveling. :)

I'm grateful for missing people. Which is weird...cause normally it's a bad thing. But I've decided that when you miss a person, it brings you closer to that person cause you're always thinking about them. And, it makes the reunion all the better. I'm also grateful for this cause there are so many different ways to miss a person. Sometimes you miss people who you see everyday. Sometimes you miss people you haven't seen in months. Sometimes you miss the way you used to know a person. Or you miss the way a person holds you and cares for you. Sometimes it's a combination of some of those, and sometimes it's none of them all, it's just more like a pit that you can't fix. However it is that you miss a person, I'm grateful for it, cause it makes you stronger as a person, and helps you realize all the blessings you've had because of that hole in your heart. I'm grateful for missing people.

I'm so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It's the most amazing thing in my life. Really, it's above everything. That's pretty much all I can say about cause I don't even know how else to put it. I'm glad to be Mormon! :)

There is so much else, but I think if I listed everything we'd both be here for about five years....cause I could go on and on about all that I'm thankful for. I just love life and everything that makes it beautiful and good. :) which is a lot of things. :) I hope everyone has an amazing Turkey Day, I'm so happy it's the holiday season. :) I'm grateful for all of YOU readers! Thanks! :)

Love Always,
Ems

{sigh}

"A girl likes to be mixed up in love now and again, it gives her something to think about."

-Mr. Bennet, Jane Austen's Pride&Prejudice

Don't worry, this is probably the quote of my LIFE! I'm feeling especially romantic recently and I think my head is just up in the clouds dreaming. :) I do love it so very much....

It doesn't help when I have romantic things being throw at me left and right... It just makes me love it all so much more. :) It's just that it's troublesome cause sometimes I need to be reminded to do this...And it can cause problems, cause not doing that is the number one cause of death. :)

Can somebody please help me? Actually, no. I'm very content with life as it is. :)

Love Always,
Ems

p.s. This is just plain darn cute. :)

{thoughts}

Thinking right now that my list of "things to blog about" is growing but that I really just want to put down what I'm thinking right now....

And that is this:

I really love being held tight by somebody who cares about you, and then, having the smell of them on your cloths after they leave.... mmmhhh. :) Makes me love life to the extreme.

I'm also thinking that it's kinda sad when you don't understand why people suddenly disappear as though they hate you, especially when it's a group of people who you dearly care for...

Or... when you don't understand why things between certain people just can never be the same because if they were to be the same you'd fall back into that same old trap, which would be bad...unless you're that person's mother. haha. And you think this -->
but obviously they don't think that same way....

Or when you can't figure out how to help a friend in need... Remember the story of my life pic a few posts back? Yup, that's the worst. It's especially terrible when they won't tell you what's wrong but you know there is something bothering them.... And you think, "Can't we tell each other everything again?" And it in turn makes you feel like this -->
But at the same time don't cause you want to be best friends! And it's just makes you sad to think about how you foolishly thought you could still be best friends. Bad news bears I tell ya, bad news bears.

This is kinda a depressing post... I was just thinking all that... But now I'm thinking back to the first part of the post....and it's making me smile. Because it really is the very best, and it over-rules everything cause you know that person holding you close and who's smell lingers on you cares for you tons & tons. :) Did I mention I'm a hopeless romantic? Well, I am. That's why this -->

Makes my heart stop. :) I think I shall go watch it. NBD, it's only one a.m. :) It's worth it though! Off to my favorite imaginary place in the world. :)

Love Always,
Ems

p.s. I'm loving italics recently... if you didn't notice. :)

Emma Should be....

Here is a list of things I should be doing and what I am. :)

Emma should be studying her 'glossary' words.... instead Emma is blogging
Emma should be rational... but rational people are dull!
Emma should be doing her conotation/ denotation homework.... but Emma is making cookies.
Emma should be practicing her violin.. but emma is dancing around her kitchen. :)
Emma should be wearing her own sweatshirt tomorrow... but she's wearing her brother's.
Emma should have worn her own jacket the past two days.... but Emma decided a different jacket that was much better than her own. :)
Emma possibly should not be so romanticly inclined..... or not. :)

There is a list of should be's... now a good list. :)

Emma is super romantic and it makes life much more exciting. :)
Emma is making cookies for her seminary class cause she loves them. :)
Emma is blogging cause she may be addicted.... :)
Emma is in love cause it's the best place to be. :)
Emma is wearing her brother's sweatshirt cause she loves and misses him.
Emma is going to do nothing in stuco tomorrow cause the Scotinator is gone!
Emma is going to go to the game tomorrow- go toros, go. :)
Emma did get an 84% on her chemistry test! YIPPEE!

Emma is starting something called RACKs! {Random Acts of Caring Kindness}! I just came up with the idea! I'm going to do something random and kind for someone everyday! Like I'm starting tomorrow! Well, kinda today! Remember the cookies? I decided to take some to this kid in my chemistry class! {other than Mr. R} because I was thinking, he's nice to me! He deserves cookies! :) Anyways, I will report on how this comes along. :) I do hope it works cause it seems like so much fun!

Oh, btw, I have temple pics I need to put up but I need to download them to my computer first...which I'm thinking I'll do tomorrow cause Mr. R and I are going to have some fun picture times tomorrow night! :) Ah! Why is life so wonderful???? :) I dunno, but I LOVE {love} LoVe it! :) But since I don't have any pics right now I shall find a picture of true happiness like this one:

{I don't know why, but I love it!}
Love Always,
Ems