Being Alone.

For the three day weekend, Becca went to Park City and I stayed in our dorm room. Thursday night to Monday night,  I was alone, in a sense. I was lonely when I spent time in our room, so I went up to Alex and Lindsey's room a lot, but you can only be in a person's room till a certain time of night (morning?) before everyone needs and wants sleep. So, I'd return to our room- alone. You know, I think that being alone is actually something that we need and never get enough of. Don't get me wrong, I love my roommate more than anything, and I really do not actually enjoy being alone, but the time I had to reflect on things was.... much needed. It helped that most the boys were gone too so I wasn't out till three in the morning doing random things; instead, I was up till three in the morning thinking. 

I've come to realize that life isn't perfect. Shocker, I know. But in all the imperfections, it is perfect. Sure, I may wreck things like relationships, friendships, and my fingers, but in the end, it's all going to work out. It always will. There seems to be so many decisions to make and knowing that it will all work out is something that I've really started to appreciate. No, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, who I'm going to marry, or even what I'm doing this summer, but I have faith that if I do my best and turn to the Lord in my decisions, it will all work out. 

That's what I've learned in being alone. And now that I have my roommate back, I remember that I don't like being alone and that I have amazing people in my life. I'm glad she's already asleep and that I'm still wide awake and avoiding all things sleep related (who does that? Oh ya, me). It's how we work. I'm glad that I was able to clear my mind and figure out what I want from life, if only a miniature part of it. I'm glad I was alone so I could remember that I don't like it. 

Love always,


Aaron said...

There is a clarity in midnights

Kelsie said...

I can relate to this all too much. I actually live by myself (say whhaaat?) and have for the past three-ish years. I have a love/hate relationship with it, too. And the love part was definitely stated in everything you said above.