Thoughts from a week of Sickness.

Guys, I got mono. How? I have no idea. Which is even worse then knowing that I got it from a make out cause hey, at least it was fun, right? ha. Anyway, obviously this week I spent 3/5 days of the week curled up either in my bed or on my brother and SIL's couch. Lots of chick flicks were watched, lots of sleep was had, and maybe some crying from wanting to better (or maybe it was the blood tests? I don't remember). So I've had lots of time to think.

As much as I love Valentine's day, I've decided it's really only fun when you have an awesome boyfriend. Few people want to be reminded that they're not in love in such an obnoxiously pink, singsongy, beautiful way. However, I really do love Valentine's day. Luckily, I had my SIL to buy me flowers and chocolates (thanks, Sarah!) and my mom to send me a package of Valentine's presents so I feel like I have someone out there! Hip hip for family relations! I really love those crazies.

And I really love those three little words- I love you. I have a quote on my wall from James McBride's, The Color of Water, that says,

"She was gone. Gone. That's why you have to say all your "sorrys" and "I love yous" while a person is living, because tomorrow isn't promised."

I can't even imagine missing my opportunity to say I love you to a person. Or even worse, I'm sorry. It's something that I want to make sure that I always say those simple things. But it's hard, ya know? There are so many forms of love that it can be taken so wrong. I love my best friend, but since we've gone through so many things does it mean something different to that person? But what if I never have the chance to say that to them? Then what? Then I'll have made a huge mistake in my life, and I don't want to do that. Those three simple words can change a person's life by changing their hearts. Sure, nothing is like the movies, but emotions are real, and maybe they're just shy. Heaven knows I'm not. But it's no fun to always be the first person to say I love you.

With all this talk you'd think I had some big plans to go out and tell someone I love them after kissing their face off. If I didn't have mono, I still don't think I'd have those plans. Maybe plans to get to know a person better, or make amends with someone, but not confess my love. I'm still waiting for love. We will see when it comes. I know it will, I'm just waiting. Call me crazy, but I think I've been in love before, and it real is an amazing thing. I know that my final love will be so much more amazing, and I cannot wait for that. Until then, I'll keep looking. It's a search that's worth the time.

Love always,
Ems

P.S. go see The Vow. It will renew your hope in true love and the lengths it will go. Amazing. Really amazing.

image via pinterest