Forgiveness and Friendship are a Package Deal

I wrote something on my Storylane that I normally wouldn't share on my blog, but I feel that there needs to be some realness on this blog- life ain't always smiles and happiness for anyone (even though life is PRETTY darn good most of the time). Anyway, here you go:

Relationships are difficult for many reasons. Although I may pin "tricks to making your relationship work" over and over, I don't think that there really are any tricks, there is just hard work and effort, forgiveness and friendship. I learned this best with a relationship that left me with many emotional scars that were incredibly difficult for me to overcome.

After wallowing in misery for a while (yes, it happens) I got down on my knees one night and pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help lift me from the sadness that I felt so engrossed in. I had a thought, a prompting would be more of an appropriate word, that I needed to forgive and let my forgiveness be known. This was incredibly difficult for me to understand. I felt as though my innocence and happiness had been ripped from me in this relationship and I did not see the benefit of forgiving this guy, not to mention the fact that I was terrified to contact him. However, the feeling persisted and I decided I needed to follow through on it. So, I messaged him and told him that I cherished the fun we had and did not want him to feel as though I held a grudge against him. Immediate relief followed his reply of gratitude. Although it has still been rocky, I've found that as my forgiveness has been more and more genuine, my understanding of him and my ability to be on good-enough terms have increased. I've been able to find happiness in a new relationships that have made my life fuller, and because I decided to forgive my past relationship, I've been able to move past the scars and hurt to new love and adventure.

I learned in that moment that there is bound to be hurt when a relationship ends. There are bound to be misunderstandings and misgivings. There are bound to be tears and sadness. However, if you decide to forgive that person, as well as yourself, there is also bound to be friendship, there is bound to be understanding.

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"It was not only wickedness and scheming that made people unhappy, it was confusion and misunderstanding; above all, it was the failure to grasp the simple truth that other people are as real as you."

-Atonement by Ian McEwan

Love always,

Ems

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